Chapter 6 - Gender

 Gender 

Every one of us is born with anatomical, and biological distinctions, known as our sex (Chapter 6, p. 150). Now sex and gender vary, Sex includes differences in reproductive organs, hormones, and sex chromosomes" (Chapter 6, p. 150). You are assigned your physical sex at birth, Gender however is an identity. As you grow up you might find yourself distinguishing yourself from the assigned sex towards another gender, this is where gender identity comes in. Gender identity is something you define for yourself even if it differs from your assigned physical sex, what gender you identify as is determined by you. Because gender is your own personal choice, not something you are assigned. 

Personally, I grew up in a very lax household. I was never really required by anyone to do or be any I didn't want to be. Of course, for some who don't share this experience, it can sound like heaven, but just like anything it comes with its own sets of ups and down. One down is that I really have no structure in my household, the only way I can describe it is if your family is just your roommates. We all have our own schedules, our own lives, and our own goals but we live together under one roof. Now a major upside I've got to experience because of my household is, my parents, they let me solely choose whoever I want to be. 

What I mean by that is they didn't really force any traditions, beliefs, etc. on me or my sister, you could define it as a "permissive authoritative" household (Zeltser Francyne, 2021). Due to the way I was raised, I never experienced any pressure related to my choice of gender identity or anything that defines me as a person. With this complete freedom, I was able to just be myself and figure out who I am. With this lack of pressure, I've defined my gender identity simply as just a male. I personally don't plunge into the many other genders I could identify myself as and prefer the simple aspect of just being male.  

I am really grateful for the perks I was given by my parents' parenting style and how it has allowed me to really explore my self-concept, self-identity, gender identity, and even improved my interpersonal communication. I feel I am genuinely more excepting of others due to my parents, as I might not understand someone's basis for their respective gender identity but I will still respect their choice because I was raised in a way that supported mine.

Now just because I was blessed personally with very lax parents. That doesn't constitute that I'm ignorant of the fact that many people grow up in households unaccepting of gender identity and believe the assigned sex at birth is someone's gender. It saddens me that many of us come from a household that won't accept this concept of identity and are stuck worrying if they can ever show their true selves. Although I didn't experience these struggles I still can empathize with how cruel and diminishing it can be to not be accepted for who you define yourself as. 

Sources 

4 styles of parenting

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Chapter 5 - Culture

Culture

 Culture is defined as, "An established, coherent set of beliefs, attitudes, values, and practices shared by a large group of people" (Chapter 5, p. 124).  Many factors may influence your perception of culture, these factors include your nationality, ethnicity, religion, gender, sexual orientation, physical abilities, and even age (Chapter 5, p. 124). But what makes a culture feel like a "culture" is that it's widely shared. (Chapter 5, p. 124). This is because cultures are learned, communicated, layered, and lived (Chapter 5. p. 124).

Co-Culture

Co-Culture is defined as "Members of a society who don't conform to the dominant culture - by way of language, values, lifestyle, or even physical appearance, they have their own cultures that co-exist within a dominate cultural sphere"  (Chapter 5, p. 125). 

The U.S. is a great example of co-cultures as the U.S. is an amalgamation of many cultures coming together and forming a nation of many different beliefs, values, lifestyles, and physical appearances. The U.S. is a very diverse nation with even some states feeling like their own sub-country within the main country. 

Living in the U.S. has allowed me to experience many different cultures that I might not have elsewhere. Specifically, New York has allowed me access to the diversity of cultures seen in the U.S. My dad's side of the family all resides in Long Island, NY which is only 2 train trips away from the city. Every year my family and I travel to Long Island to visit my relatives and we get to explore the city while we stay there. 

In the city, you can find sections dedicated to co-cultures seen within the U.S. For example Little Italy and China Town. One year when I went to NY, friends of the family who also happen to have relatives in NY came with us. The friends of our family come from Chinese and Dominican descent. When we went to the city during our stay, they introduced me to the activities in China Town during the celebration of Chinese New Year.

I soon found out that during Chinese New Year that China Town residents and business owners would actually hand out gifts to kids to celebrate the new year. These gifts would differ between each person as some would give away food, red envelopes filled with money, and tea. 

Their introduction to these activities is a perfect example of one of the many co-cultures seen within the U.S. During this trip they also allowed me to practice intercultural communication. I loved experiencing Chinese New Year with members of that culture. They also introduced me to soup dumplings which is an amazing dish that I recommend everyone tries!

  

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Chapter 2 - Self

 Self

Self-awareness, Self Concept, and Self Esteem 

Self-Concept is defined as "Beliefs, attitudes, and values you have about yourself." (Chapter 2, p. 32).

Self Concept is a complex concept as we all perceive ourselves differently than how others do, which can lead us to conform to fit in with others or distance ourselves from social aspects altogether.  

We all struggle with self-concept as we want to be ourselves but want to fit in with a group of people. I find that my self-concept is very similar to how others view me even if I have to change certain aspects of how I present myself in certain situations. Knowing this has allowed me to really just be myself and not change much when talking to new people, as I know even if they don't appreciate me my closest friends still will.

Due to this, I tend to not actively look for new friends even if my current friends are not locally around anymore. I would love to find new friends and be accepted by them but I have this underlying consensus that they are not my people and I don't actually want them around. This is why I struggle with self-concept because I have the concept that I do not need to be anyone else as I have already found people that accept me for who I am.

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Chapter 1 - Interpersonal Communication

 Interpersonal Communication

Interpersonal Communication is defined as "A dynamic form of communication between two or more people in which the messages exchanged significantly influence their thoughts, emotions, behaviors, and relationships." (Chapter 1, p. 9). 

I never considered myself someone who needs or wants to communicate with people until I started working. My first job was working for a catering business where we were encouraged to engage with customers and get to know who they are as people, so we are seen as more of guests than a business. 

Having to cater multiple events a week allowed me to flip a switch in my head to become social and communicate with people at these events. Throughout these events it made me realize that not everyone likes or wants to be talked to and they seem to lack communication altogether. 

The deeper I dive into interpersonal communication, the more I realize I am not a part of the group of people who either lack communication or hate it altogether. I love to talk to people even if it's about the most mundane topics, I find enjoyment in interacting with my peers, coworkers, friends, family, etc.

Interpersonal communication is something I look forward to every day, as I feel a day without talking to someone is a day that I'm not myself. Catering events where for the most part everyone there is celebrating a special time in their lives made me realize that communication is more than just talking to someone, it's how you become welcomed into others' worlds.

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