Chapter 9 - Communicating Nonverbally

 Communicating Nonverbally

Nonverbal Communication - "The intentional or unintentional transmission of meaning through an individual's non-spoken or physical and behavioral cues." (Chapter 9. Pg. 233)

Physical Appearance - "a nonverbal code that represents visual attributes such as body type, clothing, hair, and other physical features." (Chapter 9. Pg. 245)

When communicating with others nonverbal communication is just as important as verbal communication. Nonverbal communication can allow you to see how others are feeling without the use of words. Physical appearance is one of the forms we use to communicate nonverbally, Hair, clothing, media portrayal, etc., all express certain qualities about a specific person. 

The clothes you chose to wear and the way your hair looks can tell a lot about how your day is going and even how your mood is if it's a continuous event. Now I'm not saying that anyone should strive or even believe that either of these qualities determines who you are as a person. But if a person generally maintains these qualities, when they change it can say a lot.

You can always tell when I'm having a rough day just based on my hair. My hair will be extremely frizzy, poorly maintained, appear to be less curly, and even greasy sometimes. Along with my hair, my clothing choice for that day will be uncoordinated and/or lack any effort. 

During my senior year of High School, I was having hypertension and heart issues that forced me to give up the medications I take daily. This doesn't seem like a terrible issue but for me, it was. I've been blessed with severe chemical imbalances within my brain. I have a deficiency in the neurotransmitters dopamine, norepinephrine, and serotonin. These chemicals all play a role in mood, feelings, emotions, motivation, basically how I live and perceive life.

The disappearance of these meds not only affected my mood daily but also how I was performing in school. These factors took me to a place where I didn't care about anything, I wouldn't take care of my hair, it even died during this period forcing me to restart later. I would just put on whatever clothes were closest and easiest, and my physical appearance diminished. My friends would always ask me if I was okay and check on me, not because they knew what was going on but just because my physical appearance changed drastically towards a carless unmaintained appearance.

Even though I didn't verbally express my feelings, my physical appearance said enough to know something was wrong. 

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Chapter 8 - Communicating Verbally

 Communicating Verbally 

Verbal Communication - "The exchange of spoken or written language with others during interactions" (Chapter 8. Pg. 203)

Verbal communication is an important part of communicating with others. The better we verbally communicate the more relationships we build and the more likely we will communicate effectively. That's why I believe being clear in our communication is one of the most important qualities of good verbal communication. 

 The clarity with which you communicate allows you to better portray what you mean and leaves less room for confusion or interpretation. This doesn't mean being brutally blunt or downright disrespectful though, you can communicate with clarity but still, be respectful and take others' emotions into account while communicating. 

Over the years of communicating with others, I have not been the clearest with what I am saying verbally, often times I would beat around the bush or outright avoid explaining what I meant clearly. No surprise my lack of clarity caught up to me, one of my best friends' mom tragically passed away. In the least disrespectful way possible, she was not the best influence when it came to using substances. So my friends' views on them differ from mine, we were talking about them and he said he was trying to find a way through life to be able to smoke daily and all day. I was trying to be a good friend and persuade him instead of focusing his life around smoking, he should find a way that he can work and still be able to smoke in his free time.

I thought he would respond in a different way than he did, but he said "well, my mom would find a way that she would be able to not only smoke all day but also work a great job". Without any thought on the way I should word my response, I said " just because your mom could and would find a way too, that doesn't mean you should." In my head, I thought I was giving him good advice but I wasn't clear on the fact that I wasn't trying to disrespect his mom. I should've been clearer about how I was just trying to say there are better routes to take than trying to formulate yourself, your career, and your life around smoking.

Verbal clarity is very important while communicating with others, the less clarity you give your words the more room there is for confusion and interpretation. This is not a beneficial quality for good interpersonal communication unless it's intentional. 

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Chapter 7 - Listening Actively

 Listening Actively

Listening is something we all do, whether we want to or not. Listening gives people the feeling of belonging and understanding.

Understanding is "involving interpreting the meaning of another person's communication by comparing newly received information against our past knowledge" is key to making someone feel seen, heard, and recognized" (Chapter 7, Pg. 181)

One thing about listening is you really get to meet some and understand what makes them, them. My friends and I are a very tight-knit group, all meeting each other very early in life, between 1st and 3rd grade with a couple additions in 7th grade. So we've all been there for each other through a lot and we really understand each other's tendencies and actions based on our feelings. 

Recently one of my friend's mom passed away tragically, due to septic shock. Listening to their feelings and watching their actions has really helped them out through this tragic time. They feel like we're family at this point and we truly understand what they are going through. 

When you listen and understand someone or a group of your closest friends, It can feel like you or them are wanted and accepted. 

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Chapter 4 - Experiencing and Expressing Emotions

 Experiencing and Expressing Emotions

Emotion is an "intense reaction to an event that involves interpreting event meaning, becoming physiologically aroused, labeling the experience as emotional, managing reactions, and communicating through emotional displays and disclosures." (Chapter 4, Pg. 94)

Emotions express how we're feeling ("short-term emotional reactions to events that generate only limited arousal" - Chapter 4, Pg. 94) and our moods ("An intense reaction to an event" - Chapter 4, Pg. 94). 

I've never been good at expressing my emotions, feelings, or moods. Since a kid, I've always felt that there's no need to express my emotions as I've got better things to do than feel any certain way other than doing what is needed. Whether that be school, work, activities, etc., as I've grown up I realized it's not healthy to repress these emotions. It always leads to feelings of doubt, lack of motivation, and an overall decrease in the quality of living. 

My way of expressing these emotions has not always been healthy as I've never really developed an outlet for them. I tend to go through phases of how I'm feeling because I will find an outlet that makes me happy, so I will hyper-focus on them. One of the worst outlets I hyper-focused on was during the Covid summer and school year. I had been very overweight my whole life, I loved to just eat all day and play video games and just didn't care about what people thought of me. I meet someone who wanted to be my friend but was ashamed to be seen with me as I was so big. This friend ended up leaving and putting me in a terrible mood, some say I was downright depressed. 

I found a new outlet for this mood, I started to not eat, and work out daily or more so I could feel good about myself. I quickly started to lose the weight that had brought me so many issues. Within a year I lost 90 pounds, but it didn't fix any issues with my mood. I was still feeling less of myself, I still hadn't excepted myself and that was the issue. 

It's hard to experience and express emotions, they change you whether that be for better or worse. You need a healthy way to express it or you'll find yourself stuck in a loop of wanting to appease others so your emotions never have to factor in what you go through in life. 

Never stop expressing your emotions or you won't be yourself, you'll only be what people want you to be so you don't have to feel anything.

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Chapter 3 - Perception

 Perception 

Perception is the process of selecting, organizing, and interpreting information from our senses.      (Chapter 3, Pg. 64)

I have noticed how my interpretation of the world can vary compared to others, we tend to look at the world through glasses that only we can see out of.

Perception affects how we view others and the world around us. During our class on 2/16/2023, we had a group and class discussion on internal and external attributions. During part two of our group assignment, we had to choose which attribution we would be thinking of for different situations. Due to our different perceptions of the world, we had varying choices and reasons for these choices between each other in these situations. Due to our past experiences, age, trauma, upbringing, friends, and many other factors. 

Our perceptions of the world differ in how we view it and our mindsets toward are environments. Because of these differing views, we also tend to view and react to people, situations, and emotions differently. Perception is not one way so we should always consider and respect how differing views affect interpersonal communication.

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